How To Train Your Wizard
by 2xThink
Summary: Discworld and HTTYD crossover. Random Inter-Dimensional-which-has-nothing-to-do-with-quantum-I-promise-sir-Portal to Berk has appeared in Vetinari's office. And things only get worse when Ponder and Ridcully are summoned to 'fix' it. Rated T just in case.
1. Fiery Trouble

_Author's note:_  
_This is my first story here. I put up a poll to decide what I'd write first and I got Discworld and HTTYD 50/50, so I was forced to do a crossover. If you like it then tell me, I might write more. If you don't like it, then I'd just like you to know, I don't take harsh comments well._

* * *

We start our story in the large and unruly city-state of Ankh-Morpork, where two wizards were in the current leader, Vetinari's, office, trying to sort out an issue reality was having there.

"Uh, _Archancellor_! I don't think that's a good idea!" Ponder Stibbons winced as Ridcully stuck his staff into the Inter-Dimensional-which-has-nothing-to-do-with-quantum-I-promise-sir-Portal. His staff hit something and made a hollow thump. It was unclear what was on the other side, but whatever it was, it made a distinctive growl.

Just then Vetinari entered the Oblong Office, "What's not a good idea?" Eyebrow raised he stared at Ponder, who sweated slightly under the glare of the Patrician.

"Its fine, Ponder, see?" The Archancellor thrust the staff through the Portal, it hit something again which roared.

"Sir! I'm not sure you should _aggravate_ _it_." Ponder replied. Ridcully wasn't listening.

"It sounds like it would be good for huntin', doesn't it?"

* * *

Snotlout blinked at his Monstrous Nightmare, Fireworm, who was scratching at the outside wall of someone's house. The dragon paced a few times then scratch again and growled. Snotlout wasn't used to seeing his dragon so agitated, especially at a wall.

"What's going on, boy?" Snotlout tried asking. Fireworm looked him in surprise, then roared and turned his attention back to the wall. Snotlout took a few steps back and scratched his head. What was with Fireworm today? He decided it was best to give him some time to himself.

* * *

"Well, whatever it may be, I would like it removed from the office. Are you capable of this?" The Patrician stared at Ponder again.

"Well, sir, we are yet to discover whatever is causing it to happen," by 'we' he meant I, "At the moment we think it might be something to do with the movement and alignment of universes, as the-"

"Can you fix it?" Vetinari said much firmer, with a stern look.

Ponder panicked under his stare and looked around for someone to intervene, he noticed something. "W-w-where'd Ridcully go?" he managed to stutter out.

They both checked the room, he wasn't in the office. In fact he wasn't even in the same universe.

* * *

Ridcully grinned at the curious and vaguely annoyed dragon. He carefully moved his hand to his hat and found his pistol crossbow. He whipped it out and shot the beast with a preloaded bolt. It bounced uselessly off of it. The dragon stared at the fallen bolt then looked up at Ridcully. It growled. Ridcully tried to find some other weapon, failing to find one he looked back at the creature. He noticed that it was on fire.

"Sir!" Ridcully turned to see Ponder running towards him with a look of terror on his face, upon seeing him, Ridcully lost his balance. As he fell a large fireball flew past where he had been standing.

"What did you do that for?" Shouted the enraged Archancellor. Ponder gave him a confused and desperate look.

"It was going to kill you!"

"I was doin' just fine!"

The dragon interrupted their conversation with another roar and fireball. Ponder noticed something.

"Sir, we have to leave!" Ponder cried, attempting to pull him away, back to the Portal.

Ridcully ignored him and pushed him off, "you're not the only one who can make fire." He smiled at the beast and swirled his staff and hands around, whilst muttering something under his breathe. He finished and threw his hands out towards the creature. Nothing happened.

"Sir! _Please_!" Ponder urged, "we can't stay!"

"Where'd my fire go?" Ridcully gave his hands a puzzled look.

* * *

_So what's going to happen? Who knows? If you like it, let me know._


	2. Mud In The Office

_Sorry this took so long. I'm a slacker. _

_Also, writer's block.  
_

* * *

"Sir!" Ponder tugged his sleeve, Ridcully turned to him, "This world has no magic! Its a version of Roundworld! And- _duck sir!_" Ponder fell to the ground with his hands over his head.

"Duck? Where?" A fire ball from above blew off his hat, he turned around and saw a young man some 50 metres away and another dragon, with a _rider._ Fireworm jumped into the air and flew towards them.

"That's him! See? There! He was just attacking Fireworm!" An enraged Snotlout ran towards him slightly ahead of the other dragon and stabbed a finger at the bemused wizard, who recovered from his shock when he realised his hat was missing. Much more concerned about his head ware then the approaching beasts and angry Vikings, he nudged Ponder with his foot.

"Get up and help me find my hat, Stibbons!" Ridcully looked around frantically for his precious missing accessory. Ponder got up carefully and watched the man run straight towards the oncoming dragon. He wondered whether he should make a run for the Portal (which was mere metres away) or help Ridcully. He was about to leave when the dragons landed in front of Ridcully, barring his way. Ponder watched and held his breath.

Ridcully picked a dirty object from the ground and dusted it off.

"Well hello there, fellows. Just retrievin' my hat. I'll be off now." He started walking back towards the Portal when one of the Vikings jumped off a dragon. Ridcully heard a loud thud and turned around, he noted the size of the man.

"Hang on there," rumbled Chief Stoick the Vast, "this boy here says you attacked his dragon." He gestured to Snotlout.

"Its true!" Proclaimed Snotlout. Stoick gave him a 'be quiet' look before continuing. Snotlout started mumbling comforting things and stroking 'his dragon'.

"Who are you? And where are you from?" Stoick asked and looked back to where the wizard was. Much to his surprise there was nothing there except a shimmery wall.

* * *

"Well wasn't that fun?" Said Ridcully cheerfully

"That really depends on your definition of 'fun', sir."

"You have mud on you... How unhygienic." Ridcully stated. Ponder looked down at his robes, they were covered in mud. He sighed at them then looked up again and came face-to-face with a serious faced Vetinari. Ponder jumped back.

"Uh, sir! I didn't see you there!" Ponder exclaimed.

"I see you're tracking mud through my office." The look on Vetinari's face made Ponder very nervous. He opened his mouth to apologise, "No, it doesn't matter," He interrupted, "Can you fix this?" Vetinari threw out a hand towards the Portal.

"I'm not really sure, sir. We can certainly try." Ponder said, exasperated and desperate.

"Good, then don't me detain you." Vetinari said and walked off elsewhere.

Ponder looked at Ridcully and realised he wasn't there any more. Not that it really mattered. Ponder had work to do.


End file.
